our song
I was in the backseat playing ‘would you rather’ with my sister when I heard our song play on the radio. I hadn’t heard it in three years, but I recognized it in a heartbeat.
It was a song that we used to know. It took me back in time, hoping when I checked my phone, there would be a text from you telling me I was on your mind or a missed call because I was busy eating ice cream with my family. But it wasn’t there.
Instead, all I could see was time moving faster than usual. 9.20 pm. I paused and stared at my phone for a while, but your name didn’t appear on the screen.
My sister asked me if I would rather listen to this song only for the rest of my life or never listen to it at all. I didn’t answer. I didn’t know if I could do either.
I guess I'll never know if I want to consume you like I have memorized the song lyrics or forget you like the way you didn’t call me in three years.
But, since last week, I have been the busiest at 9.20 pm. I pull up in the parking lot of your building so that I am the only one to hear my pain, turn the radio on, and sing along to this beautiful song we once loved so much that we called it ours.
I sing it at the top of my lungs, just to go back home and cry myself to sleep.
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